Birthday Breakdown
by ShinAyasaki
Summary: It's Lily's birthday today, and she's turning the big Three-Oh. All Gumi wants to do is celebrate. All Lily wants to do is have a mid-life crisis.


Gumi's eyes fluttered open as her hand reached out to silence the chiming of her phone alarm, set up surreptitiously the night before to draw as little attention as possible. Her lips formed a smile; it was time to get ready.

She began peeling back her covers quietly to slip out of bed, but the arm around her waist tightened at her movement and held her back, refusing to relinquish her until a more proper time of awakening. Gumi turned to look upon a mess of blonde hair and the woman it all belonged to, thankfully still asleep, and let out a soft, happy sigh.

Lily was a clingy cuddler; ironic for someone who valued personal freedom above all else, or at least gave the appearance of such. But that was just one of the things Gumi loved about her, her free-spirited and considerate Lily.

But even though the two of them lived together, slept together, were intimate together, and cared deeply for each other, the 'official' relationship between the two of them was just that of roommates. That was all Lily's idea, of course. It was doubtlessly the weirdest aspect of being with the blonde.

Gumi could understand Lily's reasoning to an extent: Lily had commitment issues. _Massive_ commitment issues. And Gumi accepted that. But sometimes the green-haired woman looked back on the years she and Lily had spent together, going back to when they were just two high school kids with crushes and blushes, and she couldn't help but sigh in exasperation.

A good part of handling Lily's commitment issues was dealing with Lily's flights of fancy for freedom. If she thought their relationship was getting too involved, she broke up with Gumi. She would go straight to Gumi's face and tell her they should break up. And they would.

But where most breakups would be followed by separation and sadness, their relationship exhibited none of that. Lily would breakup with Gumi, often in the middle of an activity or an outing, and Gumi would accept. Then they carried on with whatever they were doing, absolutely unperturbed.

Certainly the first few times they'd broken up had been heartbreaking for Gumi, but eventually she began to accept it as a staple of their relationship.

* * *

Breakup #1

Gumi heaved a heavy sigh as she stared despondently down at her ice cream.

This wasn't working.

Sure they'd only been dating for a few months, but she really liked Lily. Now the blonde was probably off gallivanting with some younger, prettier, bustier girl she'd picked up at a bar. Or something.

The sound of the doorbell caught Gumi's attention, and the greenette lethargically set her bowl aside before going over to answer the door. She was greeted with an all too familiar face.

"Lily?!" exclaimed Gumi in shock.

Standing before her in her signature black ensemble was Lily, the blonde wearing a confident smile as a pair of tickets waved in her hand. "What's up Gumi," she greeted. "Do you have plans today?"

Gumi was flabbergasted. Just yesterday the blonde had told her in no uncertain terms that they were too close and she needed space, and now she was at her place with tickets and an invite? What the heck?!

"I... but you... you just...! ...What?!"

Lily's face fell into a small frown and she reached a hand to touch Gumi's shoulder comfortingly. "Hey... I know we broke up yesterday, and I know you're sad, but just because we're not dating anymore doesn't mean we can't still spend time together. It just means we go as friends. So? What do you say? I've got tickets and everything."

Gumi stared at the blonde for several seconds. Then she directed her gaze back to the bowl of carrot-flavored ice cream melting on her coffee table. They were both very appealing, but at the end of the day there was no contest. She made her decision.

Putting on a fragile smile, she turned back to Lily. "...I guess it's a date?" she joked weakly.

"That's the spirit! I know what'll cheer you up. I'll buy you some carrot-flavored ice cream when we get there."

* * *

Breakup #4

Staring up at the familiar ceiling of the bedroom, Gumi found herself rather confused.

Yesterday had been going wonderfully. They'd gone to an upscale restaurant to celebrate their anniversary, before sharing a romantic walk along the pier, ending with a frenetic dance scene at a local nightclub they frequented. And then Lily had broken up with her the instant they decided to leave.

At the time, Gumi had found herself numb, partially from Lily's words and partially from the alcohol running through her veins.

But still, one thing had led to another, and she found herself alongside Lily as they retreated back to the blonde's home with fervent kisses and longing touches.

And now, in the morning after, she awoke to find Lily wrapped around her like a koala wrapped around a tree, and just as soft and warm and cuddly too. It was the very picture of romantic bliss.

Not that she minded or anything, but... didn't breakups usually come _after_ the sex?

* * *

Most Recent Breakup

It was a usual Sunday evening, a month prior to Lily's birthday, and the two women were having a night in. They sat across each other, Lily staring intently at Gumi as the greenette pondered.

"I think we should break up," she said out of the blue.

Gumi didn't flinch. "Okay," she accepted. Ten seconds later she made her move. "Knight to E4. Checkmate."

"Darn."

* * *

After several minutes of quiet wiggling and gentle repositioning, Gumi managed to slip free of Lily's grasp. She checked the clock, pleased to see that there was still ample time for her to prepare, and she crept out of the room.

Today was Lily's birthday, so she wanted to surprise her love with three things: breakfast, a bath, and herself.

'_Well, I can probably skip breakfast and a bath_,' thought Gumi. She looked into a mirror and admired her pajama clad figure. '_After all, who could turn down **this**?_'

* * *

When Lily's eyes flashed open on the dawn of her 30th birthday, the blonde let out a gasp of shock as she had a horrifying realization.

"Oh my god..." she breathed. "I've wasted my life!"

This was, of course, absolutely not true, and everyone who knew the blonde would be hard pressed to come up with an answer for just why she had such a ridiculous notion in her head. Lily had always been unapologetic about her lifestyle, always playfully insisting on how much more awesome she was when compared to anyone else. There'd been no change in the blonde's demeanor in the past few months, so why would she have a personal crisis now?

The sound of the door opening jarred Lily from her thoughts, and Lily looked up to see Gumi walk in wearing nothing more than a racy set of lingerie. "Happy Birthday Lily," purred Gumi as she came closer. She moved up onto the bed and crawled forward until she was literally on top of the blonde. "Would you like breakfast, a bath... or me?"

Lily sighed. "Oh Gumi, this isn't the time. I've just realized I've wasted my life!" she lamented.

Slowly, Gumi withdrew from the blonde, moving back until she was sitting on her knees. Gumi stared at her unblinkingly for several seconds before uttering her response, a skeptical and flat, "What."

Lily hopped off the bed and began pacing, searching for some way to articulate her inner turmoil. She eventually stopped and looked into the dresser mirror.

"Look at me. Look at me and the miserable shambles of my love life... I'm not married. I'm not even dating anyone!"

Behind her, Gumi rolled her eyes. "You know, I'm not married or 'dating anyone' either," she interjected, air-quotes and all.

Lily whirled to face her, face frozen in horror. "Oh my god! We need to fix this!" she cried, "I refuse to have you living an unfulfilling life by the time you're my age!"

The greenette frowned. "You do remember that I'm older than you, right?"

"...I refuse to have you living an unfulfilling life by the time you're my height!" rephrased the blonde. Before Gumi could interrupt, Lily continued. "Hey! We're both single and lonely! Let's start dating!"

"If you're really that insistent, then why don't we just get married?"

"Because no one goes from dating to married in a day! We need to fall in love with each other!" insisted Lily.

"You already know I love you. And somehow, I know that you love me too," stated Gumi matter-of-factly.

"Doesn't matter," refused Lily, "It's not proper."

Gumi arced her eyebrows in disbelief. Anything combining Lily with 'proper' was usually a joke, and with good reason.

"Look, will you date me, or what?" asked Lily impatiently.

Gumi sighed. "Yes. My answer is yes," she deadpanned. "Just like it's been for the last fifty-seven times you've asked me to date you."

"Awesome!" cheered Lily. She rummaged through her closet and threw on some clothes.

"Wait, where are you going?!" cried Gumi. She was really looking forward to ravishing Lily on her birthday.

"I need to plan!" shouted the blonde as she disappeared out the door. "I swear that by the time this week is up, I'll have made you fall in love with me all over again!"

The door slammed shut, leaving Gumi utterly bewildered as she sat on the bed. Eventually, she sighed, and a fond smile crossed her face. "Fifteen years of dating and almost a decade of cohabitation and you still manage to surprise me."

**~END~**

* * *

**AN: Surprise Vocaloid story! **

**Wow, I've been away from this fandom for a while! It's nice to pop back in again to say hi. :)****  
**

**Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!**


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